Young Moms' Self-Sufficiency Program assists young mothers to identify realistic academic and employment goals, improve the health and nutrition of family members, increase a personal sense of competence and self-esteem, and foster a healthy relationship between father and children. For more information, contact Shelly Ambroziak, Program Director
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Fathers Day Can Be Rough for Step-Dads
Father's Day, June 15, is just around the corner. It's a special time when millions of dads are treated like kings and honored by their kids with gifts of love, respect and admiration.
There's no denying the need of a father in a kid's life, and today there are lots of different labels for dads; step dad, divorced dad, single dad, Mr Mom dad, gay dad. What they have in common is an indelible impression on their kids' lives in terms of increased self-confidence, a strong sense of well-being, self-control, and success in school.
While a small percentage of deadbeat dads taint the reputation of many, we only wish these missing-in-action dads could be around for their kids. But it's also true that over 90% of dads believe that being a dad is one of the most important jobs a man can have. While celebrating Father's Day, we offer some insight into two of the most common blended family dads: the step dad and the divorced dad.
Step Dads
There can be some confusion about the role of step dad since, as male head of the household, he has important financial and physical responsibilities, he mustn't assume that he has those same rights and responsibilities with his step kids. He's not the biological dad and that distinction often causes conflict and resentment, especially when he cares about being a supportive husband and provider.
Conflict may arise in any number of ways: 1) the kids may resist his influence because they feel so close to their biological dad; 2) Mom may decide he's too hard on her kids, picking on her parenting skills, or unbalanced in his treatment of her kids and his own; or 3) he may feel anger and irritation about his wife being treated rudely by her kids or by being ignored or discounted himself.
Any way you slice it, these situations result in tension in the family and altercations between the couple. Issues like these are the major reasons for second marriages falling apart at a higher rate than first marriages.
Following are some basic principles for step dads who may be working hard to establish their role with their step kids:
1. Keep in mind that your job is to support your wife in parenting as a mentor, coach, or friendly uncle. Take it easy, and eventually, when mutual trust and respect has grown, you may develop a stronger, more active role with everyone's support.
2. Focus on being on the same page as a couple, which means not only loving and honoring each other, but communicating clearly about household responsibilities, family budget, rules of behavior, methods of discipline, and the role you play in defending her decisions. Her assignment is to define boundaries for behavior and follow through on consequences, and your job is to support her and remind the kids what their mom wants. A weekly Family Meeting is an effective way of establishing rules and getting recurring issues on the table for discussion and resolution.
3. Be aware of unrealistic expectations by reading and learning about what it means to be an effective step dad. Acknowledge and respect the unique history that each person brings to a second marriage; much of it, especially for kids, comes with a sense of loss.
4. Consider an enlightening coaching session with a professional blended-family coach to help the step dad in your family sort out some of the issues and challenges he may be dealing with.
Divorced Dads
Father's Day for many divorced dads is not a very happy day, especially if they are removed from their kids physically or emotionally.
There are many reasons why divorced dads feel marginalized and are seemingly unappreciated in their child's lives: geographical distance because of work, remarriage, or divorce poison where the children's mother has systematically alienated the kids from their father with the intention of eliminating him from their lives.
Dads may be discouraged but they should always remember just how important they are as they guide, teach, and show love and support to their kids, even if it is long distance.
Following are some basic guidelines for Divorced Dads:
1.Try to act like grown ups with your child's mother for the sake of the children. Come to terms on a visitation plan and a co-parenting plan. Kids are more interested in you getting along so they can enjoy both their parents, rather than worrying about your specific issues with each other.
2.Kids need structure. Stick to planned phone calls, pick up and drop off schedules and behavioral expectations while at your home.
3. Resist being Uncle Dad or Disney Dad with lack of limits, and inconsistent discipline; this teaches the kids to believe you are a peer and best friend and not a responsible parent guiding a child. Uncle Dad parenting results in disrespect, emotional blackmail, and eventually, kids who develop behavioral problems, since they have no respect for authority.
4. Consider an enlightening professional coaching session with a blended-family counselor who may help you gain new insight on the issues and challenges that you face.
For dads dealing with the agony of parental alienation or Divorce Poison, you may want to listen to best selling author and parental alienation authority, Dr Richard Warshak, at http://www.Blended-Families.com/richard-warshak.
There's no denying the need of a father in a kid's life, and today there are lots of different labels for dads; step dad, divorced dad, single dad, Mr Mom dad, gay dad. What they have in common is an indelible impression on their kids' lives in terms of increased self-confidence, a strong sense of well-being, self-control, and success in school.
While a small percentage of deadbeat dads taint the reputation of many, we only wish these missing-in-action dads could be around for their kids. But it's also true that over 90% of dads believe that being a dad is one of the most important jobs a man can have. While celebrating Father's Day, we offer some insight into two of the most common blended family dads: the step dad and the divorced dad.
Step Dads
There can be some confusion about the role of step dad since, as male head of the household, he has important financial and physical responsibilities, he mustn't assume that he has those same rights and responsibilities with his step kids. He's not the biological dad and that distinction often causes conflict and resentment, especially when he cares about being a supportive husband and provider.
Conflict may arise in any number of ways: 1) the kids may resist his influence because they feel so close to their biological dad; 2) Mom may decide he's too hard on her kids, picking on her parenting skills, or unbalanced in his treatment of her kids and his own; or 3) he may feel anger and irritation about his wife being treated rudely by her kids or by being ignored or discounted himself.
Any way you slice it, these situations result in tension in the family and altercations between the couple. Issues like these are the major reasons for second marriages falling apart at a higher rate than first marriages.
Following are some basic principles for step dads who may be working hard to establish their role with their step kids:
1. Keep in mind that your job is to support your wife in parenting as a mentor, coach, or friendly uncle. Take it easy, and eventually, when mutual trust and respect has grown, you may develop a stronger, more active role with everyone's support.
2. Focus on being on the same page as a couple, which means not only loving and honoring each other, but communicating clearly about household responsibilities, family budget, rules of behavior, methods of discipline, and the role you play in defending her decisions. Her assignment is to define boundaries for behavior and follow through on consequences, and your job is to support her and remind the kids what their mom wants. A weekly Family Meeting is an effective way of establishing rules and getting recurring issues on the table for discussion and resolution.
3. Be aware of unrealistic expectations by reading and learning about what it means to be an effective step dad. Acknowledge and respect the unique history that each person brings to a second marriage; much of it, especially for kids, comes with a sense of loss.
4. Consider an enlightening coaching session with a professional blended-family coach to help the step dad in your family sort out some of the issues and challenges he may be dealing with.
Divorced Dads
Father's Day for many divorced dads is not a very happy day, especially if they are removed from their kids physically or emotionally.
There are many reasons why divorced dads feel marginalized and are seemingly unappreciated in their child's lives: geographical distance because of work, remarriage, or divorce poison where the children's mother has systematically alienated the kids from their father with the intention of eliminating him from their lives.
Dads may be discouraged but they should always remember just how important they are as they guide, teach, and show love and support to their kids, even if it is long distance.
Following are some basic guidelines for Divorced Dads:
1.Try to act like grown ups with your child's mother for the sake of the children. Come to terms on a visitation plan and a co-parenting plan. Kids are more interested in you getting along so they can enjoy both their parents, rather than worrying about your specific issues with each other.
2.Kids need structure. Stick to planned phone calls, pick up and drop off schedules and behavioral expectations while at your home.
3. Resist being Uncle Dad or Disney Dad with lack of limits, and inconsistent discipline; this teaches the kids to believe you are a peer and best friend and not a responsible parent guiding a child. Uncle Dad parenting results in disrespect, emotional blackmail, and eventually, kids who develop behavioral problems, since they have no respect for authority.
4. Consider an enlightening professional coaching session with a blended-family counselor who may help you gain new insight on the issues and challenges that you face.
For dads dealing with the agony of parental alienation or Divorce Poison, you may want to listen to best selling author and parental alienation authority, Dr Richard Warshak, at http://www.Blended-Families.com/richard-warshak.
Tips On Different Parenting Style By: Dean Caporella
I worked out very early in life that no two parenting styles are alike. In fact, as a primary school kid, I used to fascinate at each adults different style of parenting when the school would conduct it's social occasions.
Some parents were strict, almost to the point of being embarassingly overwhelming; some were extremely lax and casual in their child disciplines while others were a mix of strict and casual, somewhere in between if you like.
So, what are the different types of parenting. Is there a guide we can refer to before we enter father and motherhood and choose a parenting style. Let's briefly examine some of the different styles of parenting so you can see which category you may come under.
Authoritative
Authoritative parenting is considered as the balanced style between authoritarian and permissive. Children are given a little leeway and are given choices up until a certain point. While parents will listen to a child's point of view, ultimately the final decision will rest with the adult. Children in a sense a taught negotiation skills but within the laws outlined by the adults and learn discipline in a way which appears to give both parties an equal benefit. In other words, there is usually less conflict.
Authoritarian
As the name implies, this different parenting style is high in structural boundaries and somewhat strict military in it's execution. Their responsiveness to their children is usually low to very low. Rules are laid down and must be followed and in some cases, punishment metered out would be seen in today's society as extremely, and unnecessarily heavy-handed. Discipline provides the core base of the authoritarian type.
Permissive Or Indulgent
The total opposite to authoritarian, permissive or indulgent parents tend to have a lot less structure but are extremely responsive in nature to their children. Parenting styles portrayed during the 60's on television are similar in nature to permissive parenting. Many people regard this style as a little mythical and out of touch with reality but if certain aspects of it were incorporated into the other styles then the end result could only be positive, don't you think?
Non-Interested Or Uninvolved
Not the best model but this different parenting style must be mentioned. Basically, those in this category are detached from their children in a way where structure and discipline is almost non-existant. They lack a desire to take on responsibility either because they are incapable or circumstance is preventing them from practising good parenting skill.
It's almost a given that if you spent time in ten different households, then you would see a variation in different parenting style methods in each one of those ten domains. Maybe we have made parenting more complex than it should be. Is one style mentioned in this article a better model than the other?
Article Source: http://www.articlesauce.com
Dean Caporella is a professional broadcaster. What exactly is different parenting style? Is all parenting style the same or does it vary from family to family? Get the latest parenting information along with news and reviews at:www.parentinginfoline.com
Some parents were strict, almost to the point of being embarassingly overwhelming; some were extremely lax and casual in their child disciplines while others were a mix of strict and casual, somewhere in between if you like.
So, what are the different types of parenting. Is there a guide we can refer to before we enter father and motherhood and choose a parenting style. Let's briefly examine some of the different styles of parenting so you can see which category you may come under.
Authoritative
Authoritative parenting is considered as the balanced style between authoritarian and permissive. Children are given a little leeway and are given choices up until a certain point. While parents will listen to a child's point of view, ultimately the final decision will rest with the adult. Children in a sense a taught negotiation skills but within the laws outlined by the adults and learn discipline in a way which appears to give both parties an equal benefit. In other words, there is usually less conflict.
Authoritarian
As the name implies, this different parenting style is high in structural boundaries and somewhat strict military in it's execution. Their responsiveness to their children is usually low to very low. Rules are laid down and must be followed and in some cases, punishment metered out would be seen in today's society as extremely, and unnecessarily heavy-handed. Discipline provides the core base of the authoritarian type.
Permissive Or Indulgent
The total opposite to authoritarian, permissive or indulgent parents tend to have a lot less structure but are extremely responsive in nature to their children. Parenting styles portrayed during the 60's on television are similar in nature to permissive parenting. Many people regard this style as a little mythical and out of touch with reality but if certain aspects of it were incorporated into the other styles then the end result could only be positive, don't you think?
Non-Interested Or Uninvolved
Not the best model but this different parenting style must be mentioned. Basically, those in this category are detached from their children in a way where structure and discipline is almost non-existant. They lack a desire to take on responsibility either because they are incapable or circumstance is preventing them from practising good parenting skill.
It's almost a given that if you spent time in ten different households, then you would see a variation in different parenting style methods in each one of those ten domains. Maybe we have made parenting more complex than it should be. Is one style mentioned in this article a better model than the other?
Article Source: http://www.articlesauce.com
Dean Caporella is a professional broadcaster. What exactly is different parenting style? Is all parenting style the same or does it vary from family to family? Get the latest parenting information along with news and reviews at:www.parentinginfoline.com
Monday, June 9, 2008
The Art of Getting Your Kids to Talk to You By: Michael Hehn
Being a parent isn't easy. Some days just getting everyone in your family all together at the same time for dinner can seem like the "impossible dream". Between after school sports and clubs and working and errands and carpools, it's not surprising that almost half of the parents in a recent survey said they feel a growing distance between themselves and their children.
Today's children have more things to deal with than kids did even twenty years ago. Drugs, violence, mixed messages in advertising, peer pressure, packed schedules and outside activities all add to the pressure they face.
So how, in the midst of all this chaos, do you find time to talk to your kids -- and more importantly, have them talk back to you?
Here are several ideas that can help:
1. Eat dinner together as a family at least three times a week. Conversations flow easier when they happen around the dinner table. If your family is conversationally-challenged in the beginning, think of conversation starters before each meal. Plan a family vacation, letting each child talk about where they'd like to go, or what they'd like to do. Talk about current events, the latest movies or upcoming special events. Ask your children open-ended questions that have to be answered with more than yes or no.
2. Turn off the outside world. Set aside "family time" each night and have everyone turn off their phones, the computers and the television. Let your friends and extended family know that you won't be available during that time, and stick to it. Your kids (especially teenagers) may joke about it, but secretly they'll probably be delighted. Use this time to reconnect with each other. Watch a movie, play board games, take turns reading out loud, but whatever you do, do it together.See how much you can learn about kids,children when you take a little time to read a well-researched article? Don't miss out on the rest of this great information.
3. Cook at least one meal a week together. Even your youngest children can do something to help. If your kitchen is too small for everyone to fit, schedule a "helper" or have your children be responsible for different parts of the meal. Your family will grow closer during this time, and your kids may even start the conversations themselves. (You can always get the ball rolling by talking about things you did with your parents. While you may not be cool, chances are your kids think your parents are, and will be impressed).
4. Make it safe for your kids to talk to you. Let them know that you won't get angry or upset if they talk to you about what's going on. If they tell you something "off the record" then let it stay that way. (Emergencies and dangerous situations aside).
5. Listen to what they have to say. If you're working, or doing something else when your child starts to talk to you, they may give up if they know your attention is really somewhere else. Give your child the same courtesy that you'd give to a friend or acquaintance, by giving them your undivided attention when they're speaking.
6. Use active listening skills. Make sure that you understand what your child is telling you. Repeat what they told you and ask questions.
7. Set aside special time to spend with each child. It may be nothing more than taking one child at a time with you when you run errands, but let each child know that you value spending special time with them.
8. Be patient. Don't expect a "perfect" family. If you're not June Cleaver and your husband isn't Howard Cunningham, it's okay.
Just remember that perfect families really don't exist outside of television re-runs.Just keep trying, and you'll learn the art of conversation with your kids isn't as hard as you thought!
Article Source: http://www.articlesauce.com/
Michael Hehn writes articles about various topics. Find out what he has to say about kids at Kids
Friday, June 6, 2008
Unique Baby Gifts For All
One of the most enjoyable people you'll ever buy a gift for, is a newborn baby. They never complain, they always love the color, the size, and the style. They may try to eat it, but that's just another sign of how much they enjoy your gift. It's so good, they just want to eat it. But seriously, shopping for babies can be a lot of fun, if just relax, and don't worry too much about getting the absolutely best gift on the planet. Don't worry, if you mess up this one, there will be plenty of opportunities to redeem yourself.If your not sure about what to get, go for the unusual. The unique, the strange, and maybe a little bizarre. OK, maybe not to bizarre, but certainly buying a unique baby gift can be a good way to go. Settling for the usual stuffed teddy bear or pajamas, says more for your frame of mind then your pocket book. The point I'm trying to make here, is spending lots of money won't be nearly appreciated as putting a little thought into what your buying for junior here. While junior may not notice, Mom, Dad, brothers and sisters certainly will.
While putting more thought doesn't cost any more when buying a gift, it can take a little more time. Time of course is the greatest gift of all. It's more appreciated, and you'll feel even better being the giver of such a wonderful present.
One way to give something a little different, is to buy a typical present, but add a little personal touch to it. If your good with crafts, then add a little extra embroidery, stitching, or drawing to a store bought gift, will make it a keepsake for generations. Those few extra words or poetry included with a regular present can make it truly extra special.
Another thoughtful consideration when giving baby gifts, is for older siblings of the new one. Especially if they're only a few years older. It's often easy for an older brother or sister to be lost in the shuffle and excitement of a new brother or sister. Be sure they're not forgotten, by getting them a little something as well. It doesn't have to be a big gift, just a little something to let them know, they haven't been forgotten in all the excitement. Mom and Dad will appreciate it too.
Of course, if you wanted to throw in something for Mom or Dad, it would be nice. Any new mom still loves flowers, no matter what the occasion.
If you like to see the absolute unique baby gifts guide, or simply browse through a listing of the best unique baby gifts be sure to visit http://foolishmumbles.com/UniqueBabyGifts
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Chris_Campbell
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